Monday, January 10, 2005

Waste management and celebrity status

I gotta tell you, it's tough being in the public eye all the time. For quite some time now my mom's every stool has been collected and analyzed because enquiring minds want to know. Now she's got dermatologists popping in to photograph her bare midriff like she's Madonna or Princess Di. Seems she's got a rash with a complementary color scheme. Not as good as a grilled cheese sandwich of the Virgin Mary, but still a lead story on a slow news day.

Celebrity media scrutiny has extended to the next generation. I've got people sorting through my trash looking for the Rummy's conscience and Diet Pepsi cans. Yes, indeed, the city's own commercial environmental waste diversion specialists are going to do an on-site evaluation (waste audit) of my trash/potential recyclables. This needs to be done several times since the container contents fluctuate from week to week. A dear demented friend sent one of my email diatribes about the state of recycling in multi-family dwellings off to a college friend who happened to be a city councilman who sent it on to the city manager who sent it to the special services coordinator who handed it off to the commercial diversion dude. And now I'm a member of the Green Team. I hope my wardrobe doesn't malfunction like a hospital gown.

My mom can be an honorary member of the Green Team. She has just completed a 72-hour waste collection study, and the docs at Mayo weren't looking for her autograph to sell on EBay.

I guess my fifteen minutes of fame came just after the birth of my first son in a teaching hospital. Six med students arrived in my delivery room to watch my OB/Gyn embroider my episiotomy. Smile. You're on candid camera.


Anonymous said...

Can you see these blah blah blah's going thru NL's trash with a magnet and ze rubber gloves, and reporting this is outside of a bell curve. Channel 8 truck being brought in, and the reporter asking where the normal stuff is. Later, we discover she is on the Green team at the Morning News, and everyone starts reading her challenges that if Howie can ride the bus, so can we.

Soon someone is going to find her painting sides of large green containers, painting landscapes with a cranky city manager next to her. (grumbling)

Collagemama said...

I'm trying to think of something Very Interesting to plant in the dumpster for the Waste Audit. My date with the recycling dude has been rescheduled.